The Lies of “Here and Now”. “Here and Now” do not exist, at least not in the way it is usually portrayed. What is happening now is only occurring because of something that happened before, and what is happening now will also be the cause of something that will happen in the future. No one disputes this, yet teachers often say: “just be mindful, don’t think about the past.” But what if the past is manifesting now?

Take anxiety, for example. You may have heard that if you are full of worries, it is because you are living in the future, projecting all kinds of ideas about how things might go wrong. However, if we consider trauma therapy and the concept of “the body keeps the score,” we realize that when we experience anxiety or a panic attack, our body is trying to communicate: “Danger! Danger! I’ve been hurt before. I don’t want it to happen again!” The body communicates through heightened blood pressure, increased heart rate, and other symptoms. Thus, the past seeps into the present moment. The physical reality of the body is experiencing symptoms that are echoes of the past. We can reason with our mind as much as we want, trying to convince it to stop worrying, but it is as if a part of our soul is stuck in the past. No matter how strongly we want to be fully present in the here and now, we often cannot achieve it. The body can only be fully present if it is relaxed and comfortable.

Consider depression, for example. You might have heard the saying: “if you are depressed, you are living in the past.” When people are depressed, it is often because they regret something that happened in the past or are saddened by being separated from something good. The solution offered is often to stop thinking about it. While this advice is not inherently bad, it rarely works effectively. Most of the time, I have seen many examples of people feeling so bad that they cannot follow this simple advice, and their depression only worsens.

I believe we cannot be fully present in the “Here and Now” until we heal the broken parts of ourselves that were left behind. Only when we unite and come as a whole to the present moment can we fully enjoy it.

Buddha said that he taught only two things:

1. The suffering
2. The end of suffering

To understand the end of suffering, we need to understand causality. I will not delve into the details of paticca samupada now, but when we see causality, our understanding of the present moment expands from being a tiny dot of “here and now” to a broader spectrum of things that have happened before and that will happen in the future.

The Lies of Thinking – The thinking process is very important. We need to develop our analytical, deductive, and logical abilities. Without a developed prefrontal cortex, the wrinkles that increase the surface area of grey matter, and the connections between neurons, we would be considered delusional. However, there is a catch: as we learn to think, our thinking mind eventually takes over. It becomes its own entity, an almost completely autonomous system over which we have little control. For any kind of spiritual progress, we need to learn how to stop thinking. The ability to let go of the thinking mind is crucial for the development of wisdom and insight. The problem is that we try to think our way out of it. We see the spiritual path as another intellectual puzzle that we need to solve.

I locked myself into solitary confinement (a personal retreat) for up to three weeks. Eventually, when you meditate so much and have no choice but to give up the habit of thinking, you discover something profound. When we try to find a solution to any difficult, scary, or unfortunate situation, we always resort to thinking. We think so much that it starts to drive us crazy. The magical thing is that if we give up thinking and step aside, the best solution emerges from the quietude of the mind. We spend our whole lives learning how to think, but I believe we don’t invest enough time in learning how not to think.

The Lies of Solitude – When we speak about the spiritual path, it is not uncommon to associate it with a solitary journey, like that of a lone wolf. Many monastics I have encountered, including myself, prefer solitude, feel uncomfortable around people, have difficulty forming close connections, and struggle to be their authentic selves. We often use various explanations and scriptural references to justify our preference for being alone. However, as highly social creatures, I now understand that real healing only comes when we learn to honor our own uniqueness within a social context.

True healing involves learning boundaries while being respectful and kind to others. It requires us to face our fears, openly and vulnerably exposing our hidden parts and being accepted by others. This process is based on individual purification and mutual respect. There can be no real spiritual progress or enlightenment if we simply run away from the discomfort of being around people and conveniently explain it as a necessary condition for the spiritual path.

The Lies of Bad Emotions – We grow up as professional people pleasers. If we behave well, we might receive a hug, a kiss, or other positive reinforcement. If we behave badly, all kinds of negative consequences follow. From a very young age, we learn to modulate our behavior to fit the preferences of these magical adults who control all aspects of our lives. There’s a secret about your parents that you might not have considered: adults are often very uncomfortable with their own strong feelings and emotions, and consequently, with the strong emotions of others.

So, if you cried as a kid, you might have been given a treat to calm down. If you were sad to say goodbye to your grandma, you might have been given a snack to distract yourself from the separation. If you got angry, you were likely told to stop immediately. Why? Because anger is bad!

But how many of us actually stopped being angry just because we were told to? Probably not many. On the contrary, the anger often grows. Without thinking too much, ask yourself what you say to yourself when you get mad now. Probably something along the lines of, “Stop it!” Is it helping? No, it usually makes things worse.

Instead of deeming an emotion as good or bad, take a look at it and see its true value. Our feelings and emotions serve a great purpose and can be very empowering. If, without impulsively acting on strong emotions, we take the time to learn about them, we might discover their importance. Take anger, for example. The incredible charge behind anger is there to protect our boundaries. If we learn to observe anger—how it arises, what triggers it, how it affects our body and breathing—and if we learn to stay with the emotion and process it wholesomely, we develop emotional intelligence. We learn to honor our feelings, whether they are deemed good or bad, and they stop controlling us.

The Lies of Karma – Karma is not an instant punishment or reward. If it were that simple, we would see a murderer immediately get hit by a bus. In reality, it is far more complex. Some people are punished for bad actions, while others are not. Some are punished for good actions, and some are rewarded for them. This complexity leads us to create various interpretations of karma.

According to Abhidharma, karma is the resultant state of mind we experience after our actions.

For instance, if I buy a pound of cake and enjoy it because I have a sweet tooth, I might feel shame, regret, and resentment afterwards. If, day by day, I choose actions that make me feel bad—such as not eating healthily, not exercising, overspending, buying unnecessary things, getting into debt, and not spending time with good friends—I will ultimately feel like crap. Even if I claim to enjoy these activities, they negatively affect my well-being.

Buddhism teaches that no external entity judges us after death; we determine whether we regret our actions or not. When I lie on my deathbed, will I be happy that I spent hours mindlessly scrolling through my phone? Or will I cherish the memories of times when, despite fear or inconvenience, I did something to improve myself and was kind and helpful to others?

Karma is not based on our likes and dislikes. It is the resultant mind state that follows an action. Yes, someone might feel an instant high from using drugs, but the duration of that good feeling is minuscule compared to the prolonged period of feeling awful. It is up to us to decide what makes us feel good.

Do we chase after instant gratification, or are we willing to endure discomfort for the sake of eventually feeling good about our lives?

View a video version https://youtu.be/Qt8_OjAw-PQ